Worlds Collide: Hope In Dark Times And Not

We decided to share how we handle tough times like what the entire world has been going. Self isolation, unable to see family and friends. For those with fragile health, fear of getting ill tries weighing us down. We will be intermittently sharing special Bible Verses to hopefully inspire and encore fellow believers and those who are desperate to know, why are we on this planet. We can have peace in our heart no matter what things may look like. This passage is primarily directed toward fellow believers. We are to encourage each other always. So here is a short video.
Be Encouraged..

Be Encouraged: Owning Your Weakness And Forgiveness - Joni Eareckson Tada Message Share

This posting was just shared on our Sure Hope Gazette blog. Since these videos and this dear godly woman, my earthly hero, speaks from experience and pertains to our lives, it makes sense to share her message on this blog as well. We can only face each day because of our Saviour, our heart is that anyone who want to know about the Sure Hope we can all have, will get a lot out Joni's words.

And please don't think this message is only beneficial for persons living with physical disabilities. Not at all, this message is great for all of us. You may think, oh that's Joni, the lady who broke her neck in 1967 when she was 17. She's the lady who inspires people living with disabilities. That's great for them, but, I don't need to listen - it's not for me because I don't have a disability.
Well, we would ask you if you do think like that, please think again. Joni's message is always a powerful one to all people. Whatever you may struggle with or however you may feel, god blesses this amazing woman with a heart that shares the love of Christ. She encourages me, and millions of others. And we want to share more messages from her as we receive them to help inspire and motivate, spur on anyone who's heart longs for meaning, Sure Hope and New Life. Including seeing that quality of life is not about whether or not your body works, you are healthy or rich, successful as the world sees successful, come and hear what real Sure Hope is all about, from a woman who knows what of what she speaks.

The cool thing as often happens in my life, is how God has an amazing way of encouraging us just at the right moment, right when we need it. He knows what we need, when we need it. Today, He knew I needed to hear from my earthly hero who speaks about my Heavenly Hero, Jesus Christ. How our weaknesses really are our strengths because of Him. close to Him.  He cares about all aspects of our lives.
Owning Your Weakness - Joni Eareckson Tada

Forgiving Like You've Been Forgiven - Joni Eareckson Tada

Video Share: "Understanding God’s Plan for the End of Life - Joni Eareckson Tada"

Watch my earthly hero share her encouraging words on why living with dignity means living out life right until the end of our time here on earth. Th seek assisted suicide (murder) is not to die with dignity. Focus on helping and encouraging all of us aging with disabilities and others living in  chronic pain, suffering from progressive illnesses and such. Let's all show them what it means to live with dignity so we can die with dignity! God is the Author of life!

WATCH jONI

Worlds Collide: A Bergie Creation: Inside My Studio, Inside My Heart...

Since all of my blogs are able to collide and work together, I am sharing the link to a new post that I just recently shared about where physical health and being an artist impact each other. Take a peek click the header below....

A Bergie Creation: Inside My Studio, Inside My Heart...: Been A While Some metal foil with polymer clay beads Hi everyone! Sorry it has been a while since connecting or listing any new jewell...

Craig using this sweet teaching tool created by one of our brightest, and best nursing students
ever- my mini hoyer lift canvas/sling with little Nicole

Back when I use to paint!

So excited the day I received a gift from my favourite polymer clay artist Christi Friesen

my husband starts a new painting follow him at  www.Heartfullycreating.blogspot.com

Walking Wouldn't Be So Overrated If We Didn't Have Sure Hope

As you know we have called this blog, Walking, Way Overrated wanting to encourage anyone out here, that using a weelchair for legs is a pretty unique experience, that for us, walking is overrated. We both have walked, so we have some idea what is like to have functioning legs. And I know what it is like to get to walk with some limitations due to progressive muscle atrophying/wasting. But Craig, his legs were good and strong until he was in his thirties, he is turning sixty - five this year. 
Sure Hope
Now we want to make it clear that even though we may make light of not walking, we want you to know that doesn't mean we are not empathetic towards those struggling with new disabilities caused by an accident, illness, or diagnosis like mine. We may have a smile on our face but it doesn't mean we don't have difficulties. Of course we do. Especially as we are aging, we are both encountering the consequences of that process with the disabilities that we have. I am not going to talk about  all these struggles, unless I feel it would be beneficial. What we want make clear is that we would never be able to say "Walking Is Way Overrated," and mean it, if it wasn't for our Sure Hope. Our Sure Hope is in or Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. That is why we have another blog. A part from Jesus Christ, we wouldn't be able to face each day with love and hope in our hearts! 

If you are interested in the Only, Way, Truth and Life Who loves you...click here to check out Sure Hope Gazette.

We love you too! 

HOW A HELMET SAVED MORE THAN JUST MY LIFE

Here are some great You TubeChannels that have been produced by fellow wheel chair users. It is wonderful that there are so many folks sharing their wisdom and life experience in hope that, just as Walking, Way Overrated's hope, is to encourage and assist others who are living with or know loved ones living with physical challenges.
Most of the links are created by persons living with spinal cord injuries. Unlike us, my disorder was acquired before birth and Craig's too, but he did,'t face using a wheelchair until about thirty years later. Either way, the information is beneficial whether you are facing a sudden life altering challenge or are use to things the way they are. We never know what we may learn from others! So thank you to all these great folks sharing their wisdom!

Be encouraged, learn and grow!
Here are just a few channels for now, just click the name to go directly to their channel to see more....

Channel  #1 RueTo You- 
Spinal Cord Injury - Spasms

I Have Jesus Testimony

How To Transfer Without A Board

Channel  #2  Paralyzed Living - "Get Busy Living,or Get Busy Dying."
How A Helmet Saved More Than Just My Life

Bladder  Management After Spinal Cord Injury 

Channel #3 Jonathan Merchant
Jonathan Working Hard

Channel # Spinal Cord Injuries AU

Techniques and Technology To Protect Your Shoulders

OUR WEDDING STORY- Almost There... Part #4

Now, The Rest Of Our Story...

...(Continued from part ONE, Part TWO, and Part THREE (Click each number to go to it's corresponding part in out story)

Sharing our wedding story is quite an enjoyable thing to do. Wanting to share this story in a more personal way, I decided to make a video telling this part of the story.
It is never a bad thing to reflect and remember wonderful events in our lives. And for me, all events, good and not so good, are all a blessing. Without all the aspects of our lives, we wouldn't have lessons learned and our lives changed, changed forever...forever, for the good.
Telling the ongoing story of the incredible life God has blessed me...us with, is also an opportunity to give honour to Whom honour is due. Who is that you may ask?  If it wasn't for our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and His saving, life giving work in our lives, we wouldn't be here. Not only would there not be a wedding story to share, there wouldn't be any "us" to speak of.

My Grandpa E, My Sister and Me...even this young,
my heart was to be married one day!

Before I continue on with the last segment of our "New Beginnings" together, it is important to me to share the state of heart God brought us to, in order to prepare us for marriage. You see I had spent my entire life believing that being loved and having someone to love would fill my heart to over flowing. That I would be so happy, I wouldn't be able to contain myself. Over and over, mistake after mistake....well click the video below to hear what I am trying to say....

Below is the link to a Video article to the Next Part of Our Wedding Story 
(Click the image to watch it). 

May the our lives be a testimony to all that our dear Lord God has done and is always doing in my life and I know Craig's too.

Subscribe to find out when the final PART FIVE is posted!
Thanks for stopping by, like and share :o)

My dear sister in Christ Jan, who is in Heaven....

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OUR WEDDING STORY- A Cat Or A Man?- Part #3

Love my wee sister! God only knows, if it wasn't for her, I might not have reconnected with Craig :o)

Now, On with the Show... this is it......
....(Click HERE to read Part  ONE and Click HERE for Part TWO )
Well, I wouldn't admit it at the time, but, I was thankful that my sister persuaded me to hop on that bus, fears and all. I made it back without missing any accessible connections.
However, nothing changed that day about and feelings for Craig. For sure, he may have looked a lot different than I last remembered him. In fact, I had to keep saying to myself for the next while, he's the same Craig from before. The same guy you me, at that time, about ten years earlier. As for potential romance, nope. Aside from my brother-in-law's chiding, nothing, Nada. I didn't let any thoughts beyond friendship/acquaintance fill my mind. Well, that was until...
I Need A Cat, NOT A Man!?

My family's cat, Leon - sadly he isn't on the earth anymore.

About a week or so later, my sister asked me to meet her at Walmart. Off I went. I use to "walk" every where I wanted to go, when possible, using my power chair. It is hilarious to me, that over the course of my life, when I mention anything about going for a "walk," there actually are a rare few, who declare, "You can't walk!" Sarcasm at that moment, is soooooo tempting...."Really?! I can't walk!? No way?!..." See, tempting :o)
Anyhow, when I arrived there, my attention was captured immediately, by a young lady giving away kittens.  Impulsively (story of my life), I suddenly considered a companion for my kooky cat Maggie, she was a spontaneous, random biter! Not fun. Her cute pink nose, was deceptive. All cute and cuddly, reach out in trust to pet her, and suddenly your hand meets her opening jaw, that suddenly snaps shut with pointy teeth and all. She even would attack visitor's feet, when the mood struck! So ya, maybe a new friend would help her stop trying to eat the humans.

As we wandered on through to the wallpaper and paint section, suddenly I heard a familiar voice!

Wish I could say Leon was my cat, but nope, 
he was my dear nephew's and his parent's! He wanted my cone.

Guess who?
(Reminder: Craig is certain the Walmart encounter happened before our visit to his home in Part 2) 
Yup!  There's Craig again! I'm not a gambler, but what are the odds that we would connect three times in less than a few weeks?! - and yet,  zero contact in four years!?
He was shopping for wallpaper, redecorating his bathroom with a friend. My thoughts were divided, pay attention to him, or go find a new kitty for Maggie???
So I introduced or re-introduced - depends which came first -  him to my sister. (Maybe he's right, maybe that was the first introduction - argh! Must find my journal!) 

A Man, Not A Cat?

Definitely, I was feeling uncomforatble as he spoke, makes sense, after all, we were in public! Shaking my head, trying to dismiss his his flattery, I told him that I needed to go find the girl giving away kittens.

One of my own favourite cats named "Bob," - because he had no tail. This is about 25 years ago.

Because my sister is good at interior decorating, I told him that she could give him a hand selecting wall paper. As I tried to leave, to go get that new kitten, he responded with bold statements, words that I had never heard him say before... 

"You don't need a cat in your life, you need a man!" 

He definitely, caught my attention. Huh? Does he mean himself? Not wanting to take him too seriously, again I tried to be indifferent, and attempted to dismiss what he was saying. But then something even more puzzling, flew out of his lips...

"You could of had me, but you kicked me out!" 

Stupefied, I asked what he was talking about! Since, not once had we ever even dated or anything like that. Not once, had he even shown anything more than just "one of the guys, plus a few compliments, type stuff toward me. Remember, I contemplated more, but gave up on him.

Embarrassment aside, I wondered what on earth he meant. Here we were, four years later and here was Craig, making public declarations like a town crier!...   "You could of had me, but you kicked me out!" 

We were never in any kind of relationship, worthy of being kicked out of! He never reciprocated any of my subtle or not so subtle  attempts at letting him know, I was "interested." Remember the stalking? -( click here if you want to know)  So why on earth would he be talking like that? 

Four years,  NOTHING! Assuming, he had no clue that I ever "liked" him that way, I just tried to flee! So off I flew, to get that darn kitten.

Needless to say, his words whetted my curiosity, tempting me to wonder if there was some potential there that I never knew about. None of it made sense, in light of his usual behaviour toward me. And now this...what if...maybe?....just maybe.....?

I would be lying if I said his declarations didn't affect me at all. What kept coming to my mind was, he never talked like that to me before! Why now? What does he mean? I didn't think he really knew I even really existed beyond, the casual "bump into you moments. So confusing....so tempting....

Where's the Man?

Hmmmm...marry Anita???? Or not to Marry Anita?

Well, when I got home with the new fluffy little kitty, Maggie, my temperamental cat hissed and literally got her back up ,at the sight of a competitor for her affections. Concerned, yet, overly obsessed with mind, reeling with the possibilities of what Craig declared in Walmart. In front of witnesses, including my only sister! Don't worry, I didn't let my distracted thoughts ignore the endangered new kitten. 

It seemed clear that I needed to make a move, just incase he meant something more.

I admit, I wasn't disappointed at Maggie's crazy attitude, I now had an excuse to phone Craig and call

Oh, at the gym where I used to stalk him!! So handsome.

him on his words. Words that kept playing, over and over again in my spinning brain. Anxiously, I called my Mom and Dad, I told them about the new pet and that Maggie might devour him, if I kept him one moment longer.

Now this was certainly all meant to be, because many times, I had cats that seriously misbehaved, and my parents would never consider adopting them from me. Wonder why? After all, what's wrong when your cat, leaps and swings off of your macrame plant holders, like Tarzan the cat man?!!  No, that wasn't Maggie....you don't want to know that one's name. It isn't politically correct. 

The fact that my parents taking any of my kooky cats off my hands, was something that normally, would never happen, was a HUGE sign. For some reason, this time, of all times, they agreed to adopt their new little buddy. He became, Charlie number 3, living a great life in the country with my great parents.

Not waiting in moment, as soon as I hung up with 

my folks, I dialled Craig's number.

I can't remember what he said, I was nervous and unsure of what the results of my brazen boldness would be. It was a risk, but then what he said was equally out there too. What did I have to lose?
"Hello." Craig answered (I assume).
"Hi Craig, I got rid of the cat, now where's the man?"
The long and the short of it is within a few months, obviously, we got married!
But I do want to share the stories leading up to that day, especially our seven day courtship....well, you will have to wait for part four, if you want to know the rest :o) In fact, you might want to know that there was a condition about crazy Maggie. You'll have to come back to find out what it was :o)

Thank You God For my Mom and Dad and that they adopted the kitty that day!

Side Note...
By the way, normally ladies, I wouldn't recommend being that overt with any man.  Maybe it can be likened in a small way to the book of Ruth in the Bible? Okay, maybe not. In quick summary, Ruth was to show her "interest" for lack of a better word, to this man Boaz, her kinsmen redeemer. She laid herself down at his feet as a communication of her intentions, as directed by her former mother in law, Naomi. (Ruth was widowed) Boaz responded and they were married and their offspring, were the the ancestors of Jesus Christ. Regardless, a great historical event worth reading about.

[Ruth 3:4-10, 14 KJV] 4 And it shall be, when he lieth down, that thou shalt mark the place where he shall lie, and thou shalt go in, and uncover his feet, and lay thee down; and he will tell thee what thou shalt do. 5 And she said unto her, All that thou sayest unto me I will do. 6 And she went down unto the floor, and did according to all that her mother in law bade her. 7 And when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of corn: and she came softly, and uncovered his feet, and laid her down. 8 And it came to pass at midnight, that the man was afraid, and turned himself: and, behold, a woman lay at his feet. 9 And he said, Who [art] thou? And she answered, I [am] Ruth thine handmaid: spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid; for thou [art] a near kinsman. 10 And he said, Blessed [be] thou of the LORD, my daughter: [for] thou hast shewed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followedst not young men, whether poor or rich. ... 14 And she lay at his feet until the morning: and she rose up before one could know another. And he said, Let it not be known that a woman came into the floor.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Hope it made you smile just a little.

To Be Continued..

My dear Dad, getting me to the church on time....

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OUR WEDDING STORY...Almost There: - Part #2

Yup, that's me, Anita! Not quite ready for marriage then.

(For part one of the Beginning of our Wedding Story, just click HERE)
Ever since I was about two or three, I wanted to find that special someone and get married. Just ask my Mom, she said I bluntly asked a boy when I was about 2 or 3...
"Are you gonna marry me or not?!"

Silence Broken

Back to our story...Yup, we didn't talk for about four years, maybe a bit more. Then one day, out of the blue,  the phone rang, it was Craig's familiar voice! He just decided to call to say hi. It was the end of June or beginning of July, 2001.  I was happy to hear from him, but I didn't let it go to my head

I am ready for marriage then!

or anything, I just said to myself that I should remember to try harder, to keep in better contact with him as a friend, that his call didn't mean anything more than that. (Ya, right!)
Actually, I felt kind of bad because I hadn't thought of him at all during the "silent" years. Maybe once, I may have pondered the question,  I wonder what happened to Craig B...?
Boyfriend?
A week or so after his call, my sister literally, talked me into hopping on the City's weekend only,  wheelchair accessible Bus to a local Park. Terrified of going so far on my own, worried about being able to return alright, I fought her all the way. But as often would happen, my sister was able to convince me to meet her and her family out there. Nervous? Yes! But, I made the correct bus connections and before I knew it, I made it out there before them!
As I waited for them to show up, I suddenly was struck with the remembrance that Craig B lived out here! Using my mobile phone, I called him to let him know what was happening and asked if it was okay if we walked over to see him. I had never been to his house/camp before. When my family got there I told them about this fellow Craig and how we were going to his home. Off we went. I hadn't actually seen him in about four years and boy, did he look different than I last remembered. His hair was much greyer and he had just changed some how. I had to actually focus on reminding myself that this is the

He's a handsome bloke~

same Craig B that you once knew. We didn't stay long, but after we exited, my alway funny brother-in-law said quietly to me, "Nice to meet your boyfriend!" My response was a shocked, "N, way! He's not my boyfriend!" Oh, little did I know just how quickly I would discover my dear brother in law was right, as if he knew something we didn't.

To Be Continued...

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OUR WEDDING STORY - Part 1

Us, on October 20, 2001

Initially, I just thought it would be fun to talk about and share some wedding photos. But then, that lead to a multi part story about Our Wedding....

Craig and I met about ten years before we actually got married in 2001. Craig would show up every now and then at my church as a visitor, that's where  I met him. We exchanged niceties but, nothing

Craig, long before I knew him!

more than that. Until about four years prior to our marriage in 2001. Based on some nice things he would say to me when I saw him ocassionaly in public and when he came for meetings at the

offices on the bottom floor of my apartment building, I thought maybe he might like me and I him.
Stalker!?
After two or three dinner invitations, making him some sort of strange healthy pizza, I remember considering the idea of him and I being married.  We never once discussed or even hinted at anything like that.
Not wanting to give up too easily, when I found out he had a gym membership, in spite of my muscle weakness,  I joined the gym too!  Yes there were accessible equipment pieces that he could use, but due to my limited muscle function, I could only use the arm ergometer on my own. Imagine signing up for a whole one year membership for one piece of equipment and oh, ya...right, and for the possibility of finding out if Craig "liked" me or not!
It was all worth it, I needed to know for sure. I was interested in him, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how he felt. So I would try to figure out when he would be at the gym, peek around corners, look past doors and then when found, in a nonchalant, "fancy meeting you here," kind of way, we'd greet each other and he'd shower me with an abundance of kind words. What girl wouldn't like that! I even signed up to volunteer at a local hospital, for the very same position that he had already had for about ten years. Yes, I kind of stalked him.
A Mail Man Is A Person In Your Neighbourhood!
One of Craigs' strongest traits has always been his whole, opposite of shy manner. It is what made him a great mail man! No, I didn't know him when he was he delivering mail, but I remember Sesame Street really well, when they had the song segment, "Who are the people in your neighbourhood?.... A Postman is the person in your neighbourhood...In your neighbourhood, in your, neigh-bour-hood...yes, who...."

Watch That Song Here!

That's the song that comes to mind when I picture Craig as a Mail Man. Friendly, smiling bearded face, talking to every person he 'd meet. Yes, Craig even sang as he glided up and down people's yards placing mail into their hungry mailboxes. He told me today that he also use to play games with the children on his route, trying to make them laugh and giggle. He could hear their wee voices saying, "Hi Mailman!" And he would respond sometimes with, "Hey, I hear a little bird, a little bird is talking to me!" There were the times, when he would jump through water sprinklers with them, clothes and all! As well as asking the kids on occasion, to hose him down on those really hot days!
Then there were the times he made mooing cow sounds for some, and at times, he would pretend that  some kids were invisible, just goofing around with them. One memorable moment, he remembers really well was a young lad who would wait for him every weekday morning, with a cookie in hand, just for the mailman! Perhaps that is why years later, he told me that cookies are messages of love! Naw, that was most likely because his mom was a great baker of cookies and pies!
It was his bold friendliness and sweet talk, that started to win my heart over.
Mr. Right

As the weeks went by, we would talk occasionally on the phone, but, it started to become clear to me that he just said nice things to all the ladies! Starting to prepare my heart to give up the hope of Craig responding to my signals, I even began to wonder if he was too old for me. (Sorry Craig, you know all that.) I didn't know his age at the time. I was about 31 years old. 

As well, practically and selfishly speaking, I actually did wonder if marrying a fellow who used wheels for legs like me, would work out well. Those thoughts are not something I ever thought I would have and I am ashamed that I had them. It even sounds strange saying that out "loud," for all too read,  but it is the truth, it was what I wondered back then. 

My whole life, I had wanted to be married. I envisioned that my husband wouldn't just love me as his wife, but also be the main provider of my personal care, and then I selfishly, wouldn't need my own Personal Care Attendants at all or as often. When someone comes into your home morning and night,  decade after decade, it is tempting to consider real privacy and going to bed or getting up when ever you want to. Selfish, I know. But it is what was in my head at the time. 

Craig and I talked about that consideration a long time ago and even though initially, I would be mortified if someone thought the way I did, we realized it isn't "abnormal" to wonder something like that. In no way does it mean you love the person less or are you judging them because of their disability. I would say in my case, it was more because of my disability.

In fact Craig told me that once we got married, a friend of our's who acquired his disability because of a motorcycle accident, told Craig that thanks to our marriage, he knew it was okay to marry his girlfriend. Before that, he said he didn't know if marrying his girlfriend could work because they both live with physical disabilities. Needless to say, unbeknownst to us, he was encouraged by our marriage and did the same thing! Little did we know...What a wonderful thing that is! 

We Know How The Story Ends..

Boy did God have a plan beyond my wildest dreams. But for now, I will end part one here.....

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BE INSPIRED...PURPOSE AND REASON!

We heard a Pastor once, passionately declare to the congregation, how insensitive it is when someone

is suffering or struggling, to be told that "all things happen for a reason." It wasn't the first time I heard words from his mouth that made my heart sink, because it was obvious to me that I was the person he was describing.
After all, being honest about yourself and repenting of anything that God may be showing you through the lips of another is one way He teaches us right? I remember a distinct sinking feeling in my heart, because I was one of those people. No, not the suffering person, but the one who always uses that very same phrase "all things happen for a reason." Never did I think I was being insensitive. It is something I know to be true from experience. That includes even if you can't see why at the time. Nothing is ever in vain. God is Sovereign and even if some things make no sense, I know He is worth trusting completely.

Thankfully, God taught me a while ago, to not assume that Christian leaders are right all the time, to make sure that their words line up with His Word, so the sinking feeling left as fast as it came as I was reminded that it is true, all things do happen for a reason and nothing happens without purpose. Just read these words from God's infallible Word:

Luke 12:7 NASB - "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows." 

Romans 8:28  And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

[Rom 9:13-23 ESV] 13 As it is written, "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated." 14 What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God's part? By no means! 15 For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion." 16 So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. 17 For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, "For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." 18 So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills. 19 You will say to me then, "Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?" 20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me like this?" 21 Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? 22 What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, 23 in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory--

Psalm 139:1b-4 O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all.

Psa 139:13-17 For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Purpose
Pretty much, most of us who live and breathe, have been inspired by the life of another.  Joni Eareckson Tada who dove into the Chesapeake Bay at the age of seventeen, breaking her neck, resulting in paralysis from the shoulders down. From the depths of despair, seeking death, she was stretched and challenged, pushed to emotional brink and physical limits that most of us will never know, to the point where she unswervingly could declare to a peer who was questioning the "whys?" questioning God, that she would rather be in this wheelchair knowing Him, than on her feet without Him. Thanks to God opening our eyes to see, we believe beyond all doubt that, because He knows all things, He permits in our lives to cause us to see that we need Him above all others and secondly, to then encourage and support others who may live in similar situations.
Fear No More
We didn't always see life or God in this way. At the ripe old age of seven or so, after years of tests

and speculation about why my legs were so wobbly, collapsing beneath me from the time I began to walk, I heard a "specialist," declare to my mom, when I was about seven years old, that I would be dead by the time I was twenty. That caused me to face the real meaning of life at an extra young age. Only God knows why, but the meaning of life and what happens when we die, pounded at my heart repeatedly.  It gnawed at my spirit and often lead to deep times of depression because I was terrified. Many nights, I would lie in bed agonizing over why I had just lived today, that today can't be re-lived and tomorrow, will fly by just as quickly. To just let go of these thoughts and live life to the max, was not an option. If you have ever gone through the same thing, you know just how much those thoughts and queries consume everything you are.

Respite from this mindset occurred after much testing and seeking, the day I knew beyond all doubt, that Jesus Christ is our  Lord and Saviour and anyone else's, just for the asking, by believing. Every fear of death and question about meaning melted away. For me it took years of searching, even passing on thee Answer early on.  It took years of multiple bad life choices. But even in all that, there was purpose in all of that. That includes  perverse horrible encounters with abusive individuals and being robbed of childhood innocence early on.  Without all of it, I wouldn't be able to knowingly say,  I understand, I have been there and I know the only One Who can help you. There is a reason for everything. Nothing is in vain.

on that note, it is not insensitive to say to someone who is suffering, "everything has a reason or purpose." Not, if you mean it. To those "Christian" leaders who think it is insensitive, clearly must not trust in God's Sovereignty. Again, see what god's Word says.

I Stand In Awe...

If it wasn't for the Lord Our God, I wouldn't be able to be on this earth. Today, we were watching a debate, while I worked on a polymer clay figure (3rd attempt). This debate was with Kent Hovind a fellow believer and a University Professor named Dr. Rainbow. I wanted to share this because of how I was moved as I listened and was reminded how Awesome and Wondrous our God is. I really do Stand in Awe, even if I sit down literally. The question of creation versus evolution theory for us, is

not up for debate. However, when people try, God's Truth shines even more brighter. The arguments for a Godless creation/evolution makes no sense, even when I once thought God evolved it all. He really makes all things possible and I wanted to share the link to this debate and God's Mighty Word.

Walking would not be way overrated for us, if it wasn't for HIM!

[Psa 33:1-9 KJV] 1 Rejoice in the LORD, O ye righteous: [for] praise is comely for the upright. 2 Praise the LORD with harp: sing unto him with the psaltery [and] an instrument of ten strings. 3 Sing unto him a new song; play skilfully with a loud noise. 4 For the word of the LORD [is] right; and all his works [are done] in truth. 5 He loveth righteousness and judgment: the earth is full of the goodness of the LORD. 6 By the word of the LORD were the heavens made; and all the host of them by the breath of his mouth. 7 He gathereth the waters of the sea together as an heap: he layeth up the depth in storehouses. 8 Let all the earth fear the LORD: let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him. 9 For he spake, and it was [done]; he commanded, and it stood fast.

[Psa 4:3-5 KJV] 3 But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto him. 4 Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. 5 Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the LORD.

Praise God, We Made It Through….

This time last week, I was sharing about how I was about to try spending the night sleeping in my power tilt wheelchair. Did I make it? Well, here I am. I meant to write about it the next day, but...needless to say, my brain cells were lacking all last week. After some much needed R.E.M. sleep, I can now put words together, to share the following.
I Must Be Dying…

First of all I want to thank God for giving Craig and I the strength to make it through last week. A quick recap (read about it here), my main Personal Care Attendant had to suddenly be off for a week or so, to recover from a back strain injury, acquired at home. Which meant,  I had an, "Uh Oh, what am I going to do" moment. When you depend on the arms and legs of others to get in and out of bed, among a myriad of other tasks, the temptation to panic arises during those moments. And anyone who knows me, knows that even though 99 percent of my life span, has been spent relying on the assistance of others, I am the opposite to a laid back person. When the girl I count on suddenly is unable to give me a hand and I don't have back up assistance for those "just in case moments," my initial reaction isn't as I know it should be… relax, pray to God for help, sip a cup of coffee and

Me in 1966. The best way to sleep in a bed or crib :o)

reflect on how it will all work out….Nope, that's not me, just ask my dear husband…"Craig! What are we going to do? I am going have to live at the hospital or, I must be going to die, so God knows I don't need anyone to help me. Oh and all of this is said loudly,  repeatedly, under great duress, with poor Craig reassuring me that all will work out fine. Do I accept his assessment of the situation? Nope, of course not! Again, the freak out, over reaction, panic and anticipation of a fatal coronary event ensues. And this is just when I have only one employee and am trying to hire a second person.
God's Grace, Really Is Amazing!
Well, thanks to I am sure, God's intervention, a week ago this morning,  as my injured attendant was clearly not doing well physically, an unusual peace flooded my heart and mind.  The temptation to freak out with worry, after she left, did knock at the door, but it didn't happen. Knowing that I had no one to fill in for her, an amazing calmness came over me. I even had a bigger reason to panic, I had been in process trying to hire another morning person, but hadn't yet. And yet still, I sensed that worrying and freaking wouldn't help anything, that God, as He always does, would provide what I needed.  And guess what, He did! Thank You God for Your amazing Grace, for providing me with the best of care and the hearts of three caring, committed, willing and reliable ladies. Did I worry even a little? Of course I tried it, but recanted as God took care of all the details.
The Camp Out
Okay, so yes, God provided for my needs all last week. Thank you Lord for that, thank You for everything actually. I was never stuck in or out of bed and thanks to my dear husband, he helps me out as he always does. But, like I mentioned, I wanted to try to see if I could sleep in my tilting wheelchair, just for the first night. Here's the thing, I didn't have to, I had planned for the worst, hence the plan to not go to bed, but both of my casual gals were able to give me a hand that night and morning. However, I insisted on trying out the camp out idea and decline their offers.
Energize?!
Well, Craig got comfy on the futon in the living room, I got him to wrap me as snug as a bug in a rug with my favourite "Minky" blanket, Star Trek's Deep Space Nine was set to play, while I tried to sleep….and then I tried the video of the book of John….then I tried to shut it all off….and keeping my eyes closed through it all, while Craig was sawing logs, the hours ticked by, 2….3….5…and then by six am - ish,  Craig got up and we made a great scrambled egg breakfast. It all had to be God's grace because there were times that day, where my heart felt like it was going to just stop beating. My disability involves progressive muscle weakness, so I am use to that floppy, limp feeling.  It felt like five pound weights had been strapped to my limbs. Actually that is the best way to help someone understand what progressive muscle wasting feels like. Clamp on some weight to your limbs and carry out your day. Can't be one or two pounders,  try at least five to ten pounds. Pretty much, gravity is my enemy.
Anyhoo, that following night, in our real bed,  as I laid there anticipating a restful sleep, in spite of the second, third and fourth winds,  the physical fatigue intensified and the weakness actually made me nervous. I told Craig I thought I might not make it through the night. Well, I did.  (you have no idea, how many times he hears me say those words)
Lessons
Number one, no, sleeping in my wheelchair is not a good idea. However, if I had no choice, I could survive it, Lord willing.
Lesson two, if someone offers you help, take it. After all, when you ask God for help and He throws you a life line, it is really silly to push it aside. I admit that even though I knew in my heart God would care for my needs, I took control and planned for the worst scenario and as a result spent a night of sleeplessness when I didn't have to. May He remind me of this event, should a similar scenario occur ever again.
A third lesson I want to share with anyone who doesn't know that God loves us and wants us to depend on Him. I have been hiring my own PCAs for about twenty years now, and must testify that without God being life, I wouldn't have been blessed with so many dedicated employees. He loves us and wants us to depend on His care.  I have lived without Him in my life and I could never go back to that life. If it wasn't for the love and care of Jesus Christ, this time a week ago…well, let's just say, I believe I never even would have lived to get to this point in my life.

And thank you so much to my great PCAs. You have no idea how much your willingness, blessed me with reassurance not having to "worry" about how I was going to get to or out of bed. We all made it through and are on the other side.  And thank You God for bringing our main PCA back to us, healed and raring to go.