OUR WEDDING STORY- A Cat Or A Man?- Part #3

Love my wee sister! God only knows, if it wasn't for her, I might not have reconnected with Craig :o)

Now, On with the Show... this is it......
....(Click HERE to read Part  ONE and Click HERE for Part TWO )
Well, I wouldn't admit it at the time, but, I was thankful that my sister persuaded me to hop on that bus, fears and all. I made it back without missing any accessible connections.
However, nothing changed that day about and feelings for Craig. For sure, he may have looked a lot different than I last remembered him. In fact, I had to keep saying to myself for the next while, he's the same Craig from before. The same guy you me, at that time, about ten years earlier. As for potential romance, nope. Aside from my brother-in-law's chiding, nothing, Nada. I didn't let any thoughts beyond friendship/acquaintance fill my mind. Well, that was until...
I Need A Cat, NOT A Man!?

My family's cat, Leon - sadly he isn't on the earth anymore.

About a week or so later, my sister asked me to meet her at Walmart. Off I went. I use to "walk" every where I wanted to go, when possible, using my power chair. It is hilarious to me, that over the course of my life, when I mention anything about going for a "walk," there actually are a rare few, who declare, "You can't walk!" Sarcasm at that moment, is soooooo tempting...."Really?! I can't walk!? No way?!..." See, tempting :o)
Anyhow, when I arrived there, my attention was captured immediately, by a young lady giving away kittens.  Impulsively (story of my life), I suddenly considered a companion for my kooky cat Maggie, she was a spontaneous, random biter! Not fun. Her cute pink nose, was deceptive. All cute and cuddly, reach out in trust to pet her, and suddenly your hand meets her opening jaw, that suddenly snaps shut with pointy teeth and all. She even would attack visitor's feet, when the mood struck! So ya, maybe a new friend would help her stop trying to eat the humans.

As we wandered on through to the wallpaper and paint section, suddenly I heard a familiar voice!

Wish I could say Leon was my cat, but nope, 
he was my dear nephew's and his parent's! He wanted my cone.

Guess who?
(Reminder: Craig is certain the Walmart encounter happened before our visit to his home in Part 2) 
Yup!  There's Craig again! I'm not a gambler, but what are the odds that we would connect three times in less than a few weeks?! - and yet,  zero contact in four years!?
He was shopping for wallpaper, redecorating his bathroom with a friend. My thoughts were divided, pay attention to him, or go find a new kitty for Maggie???
So I introduced or re-introduced - depends which came first -  him to my sister. (Maybe he's right, maybe that was the first introduction - argh! Must find my journal!) 

A Man, Not A Cat?

Definitely, I was feeling uncomforatble as he spoke, makes sense, after all, we were in public! Shaking my head, trying to dismiss his his flattery, I told him that I needed to go find the girl giving away kittens.

One of my own favourite cats named "Bob," - because he had no tail. This is about 25 years ago.

Because my sister is good at interior decorating, I told him that she could give him a hand selecting wall paper. As I tried to leave, to go get that new kitten, he responded with bold statements, words that I had never heard him say before... 

"You don't need a cat in your life, you need a man!" 

He definitely, caught my attention. Huh? Does he mean himself? Not wanting to take him too seriously, again I tried to be indifferent, and attempted to dismiss what he was saying. But then something even more puzzling, flew out of his lips...

"You could of had me, but you kicked me out!" 

Stupefied, I asked what he was talking about! Since, not once had we ever even dated or anything like that. Not once, had he even shown anything more than just "one of the guys, plus a few compliments, type stuff toward me. Remember, I contemplated more, but gave up on him.

Embarrassment aside, I wondered what on earth he meant. Here we were, four years later and here was Craig, making public declarations like a town crier!...   "You could of had me, but you kicked me out!" 

We were never in any kind of relationship, worthy of being kicked out of! He never reciprocated any of my subtle or not so subtle  attempts at letting him know, I was "interested." Remember the stalking? -( click here if you want to know)  So why on earth would he be talking like that? 

Four years,  NOTHING! Assuming, he had no clue that I ever "liked" him that way, I just tried to flee! So off I flew, to get that darn kitten.

Needless to say, his words whetted my curiosity, tempting me to wonder if there was some potential there that I never knew about. None of it made sense, in light of his usual behaviour toward me. And now this...what if...maybe?....just maybe.....?

I would be lying if I said his declarations didn't affect me at all. What kept coming to my mind was, he never talked like that to me before! Why now? What does he mean? I didn't think he really knew I even really existed beyond, the casual "bump into you moments. So confusing....so tempting....

Where's the Man?

Hmmmm...marry Anita???? Or not to Marry Anita?

Well, when I got home with the new fluffy little kitty, Maggie, my temperamental cat hissed and literally got her back up ,at the sight of a competitor for her affections. Concerned, yet, overly obsessed with mind, reeling with the possibilities of what Craig declared in Walmart. In front of witnesses, including my only sister! Don't worry, I didn't let my distracted thoughts ignore the endangered new kitten. 

It seemed clear that I needed to make a move, just incase he meant something more.

I admit, I wasn't disappointed at Maggie's crazy attitude, I now had an excuse to phone Craig and call

Oh, at the gym where I used to stalk him!! So handsome.

him on his words. Words that kept playing, over and over again in my spinning brain. Anxiously, I called my Mom and Dad, I told them about the new pet and that Maggie might devour him, if I kept him one moment longer.

Now this was certainly all meant to be, because many times, I had cats that seriously misbehaved, and my parents would never consider adopting them from me. Wonder why? After all, what's wrong when your cat, leaps and swings off of your macrame plant holders, like Tarzan the cat man?!!  No, that wasn't Maggie....you don't want to know that one's name. It isn't politically correct. 

The fact that my parents taking any of my kooky cats off my hands, was something that normally, would never happen, was a HUGE sign. For some reason, this time, of all times, they agreed to adopt their new little buddy. He became, Charlie number 3, living a great life in the country with my great parents.

Not waiting in moment, as soon as I hung up with 

my folks, I dialled Craig's number.

I can't remember what he said, I was nervous and unsure of what the results of my brazen boldness would be. It was a risk, but then what he said was equally out there too. What did I have to lose?
"Hello." Craig answered (I assume).
"Hi Craig, I got rid of the cat, now where's the man?"
The long and the short of it is within a few months, obviously, we got married!
But I do want to share the stories leading up to that day, especially our seven day courtship....well, you will have to wait for part four, if you want to know the rest :o) In fact, you might want to know that there was a condition about crazy Maggie. You'll have to come back to find out what it was :o)

Thank You God For my Mom and Dad and that they adopted the kitty that day!

Side Note...
By the way, normally ladies, I wouldn't recommend being that overt with any man.  Maybe it can be likened in a small way to the book of Ruth in the Bible? Okay, maybe not. In quick summary, Ruth was to show her "interest" for lack of a better word, to this man Boaz, her kinsmen redeemer. She laid herself down at his feet as a communication of her intentions, as directed by her former mother in law, Naomi. (Ruth was widowed) Boaz responded and they were married and their offspring, were the the ancestors of Jesus Christ. Regardless, a great historical event worth reading about.

[Ruth 3:4-10, 14 KJV] 4 And it shall be, when he lieth down, that thou shalt mark the place where he shall lie, and thou shalt go in, and uncover his feet, and lay thee down; and he will tell thee what thou shalt do. 5 And she said unto her, All that thou sayest unto me I will do. 6 And she went down unto the floor, and did according to all that her mother in law bade her. 7 And when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of corn: and she came softly, and uncovered his feet, and laid her down. 8 And it came to pass at midnight, that the man was afraid, and turned himself: and, behold, a woman lay at his feet. 9 And he said, Who [art] thou? And she answered, I [am] Ruth thine handmaid: spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid; for thou [art] a near kinsman. 10 And he said, Blessed [be] thou of the LORD, my daughter: [for] thou hast shewed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followedst not young men, whether poor or rich. ... 14 And she lay at his feet until the morning: and she rose up before one could know another. And he said, Let it not be known that a woman came into the floor.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Hope it made you smile just a little.

To Be Continued..

My dear Dad, getting me to the church on time....

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OUR WEDDING STORY - Part 1

Us, on October 20, 2001

Initially, I just thought it would be fun to talk about and share some wedding photos. But then, that lead to a multi part story about Our Wedding....

Craig and I met about ten years before we actually got married in 2001. Craig would show up every now and then at my church as a visitor, that's where  I met him. We exchanged niceties but, nothing

Craig, long before I knew him!

more than that. Until about four years prior to our marriage in 2001. Based on some nice things he would say to me when I saw him ocassionaly in public and when he came for meetings at the

offices on the bottom floor of my apartment building, I thought maybe he might like me and I him.
Stalker!?
After two or three dinner invitations, making him some sort of strange healthy pizza, I remember considering the idea of him and I being married.  We never once discussed or even hinted at anything like that.
Not wanting to give up too easily, when I found out he had a gym membership, in spite of my muscle weakness,  I joined the gym too!  Yes there were accessible equipment pieces that he could use, but due to my limited muscle function, I could only use the arm ergometer on my own. Imagine signing up for a whole one year membership for one piece of equipment and oh, ya...right, and for the possibility of finding out if Craig "liked" me or not!
It was all worth it, I needed to know for sure. I was interested in him, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how he felt. So I would try to figure out when he would be at the gym, peek around corners, look past doors and then when found, in a nonchalant, "fancy meeting you here," kind of way, we'd greet each other and he'd shower me with an abundance of kind words. What girl wouldn't like that! I even signed up to volunteer at a local hospital, for the very same position that he had already had for about ten years. Yes, I kind of stalked him.
A Mail Man Is A Person In Your Neighbourhood!
One of Craigs' strongest traits has always been his whole, opposite of shy manner. It is what made him a great mail man! No, I didn't know him when he was he delivering mail, but I remember Sesame Street really well, when they had the song segment, "Who are the people in your neighbourhood?.... A Postman is the person in your neighbourhood...In your neighbourhood, in your, neigh-bour-hood...yes, who...."

Watch That Song Here!

That's the song that comes to mind when I picture Craig as a Mail Man. Friendly, smiling bearded face, talking to every person he 'd meet. Yes, Craig even sang as he glided up and down people's yards placing mail into their hungry mailboxes. He told me today that he also use to play games with the children on his route, trying to make them laugh and giggle. He could hear their wee voices saying, "Hi Mailman!" And he would respond sometimes with, "Hey, I hear a little bird, a little bird is talking to me!" There were the times, when he would jump through water sprinklers with them, clothes and all! As well as asking the kids on occasion, to hose him down on those really hot days!
Then there were the times he made mooing cow sounds for some, and at times, he would pretend that  some kids were invisible, just goofing around with them. One memorable moment, he remembers really well was a young lad who would wait for him every weekday morning, with a cookie in hand, just for the mailman! Perhaps that is why years later, he told me that cookies are messages of love! Naw, that was most likely because his mom was a great baker of cookies and pies!
It was his bold friendliness and sweet talk, that started to win my heart over.
Mr. Right

As the weeks went by, we would talk occasionally on the phone, but, it started to become clear to me that he just said nice things to all the ladies! Starting to prepare my heart to give up the hope of Craig responding to my signals, I even began to wonder if he was too old for me. (Sorry Craig, you know all that.) I didn't know his age at the time. I was about 31 years old. 

As well, practically and selfishly speaking, I actually did wonder if marrying a fellow who used wheels for legs like me, would work out well. Those thoughts are not something I ever thought I would have and I am ashamed that I had them. It even sounds strange saying that out "loud," for all too read,  but it is the truth, it was what I wondered back then. 

My whole life, I had wanted to be married. I envisioned that my husband wouldn't just love me as his wife, but also be the main provider of my personal care, and then I selfishly, wouldn't need my own Personal Care Attendants at all or as often. When someone comes into your home morning and night,  decade after decade, it is tempting to consider real privacy and going to bed or getting up when ever you want to. Selfish, I know. But it is what was in my head at the time. 

Craig and I talked about that consideration a long time ago and even though initially, I would be mortified if someone thought the way I did, we realized it isn't "abnormal" to wonder something like that. In no way does it mean you love the person less or are you judging them because of their disability. I would say in my case, it was more because of my disability.

In fact Craig told me that once we got married, a friend of our's who acquired his disability because of a motorcycle accident, told Craig that thanks to our marriage, he knew it was okay to marry his girlfriend. Before that, he said he didn't know if marrying his girlfriend could work because they both live with physical disabilities. Needless to say, unbeknownst to us, he was encouraged by our marriage and did the same thing! Little did we know...What a wonderful thing that is! 

We Know How The Story Ends..

Boy did God have a plan beyond my wildest dreams. But for now, I will end part one here.....

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