We are blessed to have a way to share our extraordinary lives that prove why for us, Walking Is, Way Overrated. You'll see... Stories, Life lessons, Problem Solving, Aging with a disability, all intended to encourage and help out anyone who may be new to using wheels for legs, aging, have a loved one facing challenges or you may just be interested in reading something unique. You may even smile! All glory goes to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Yup, that's me, Anita! Not quite ready for marriage then.
(For part one of the Beginning of our Wedding Story, just click HERE)
Ever since I was about two or three, I wanted to find that special someone and get married. Just ask my Mom, she said I bluntly asked a boy when I was about 2 or 3... "Are you gonna marry me or not?!"
Silence Broken
Back to our story...Yup, we didn't talk for about four years, maybe a bit more. Then one day, out of the blue, the phone rang, it was Craig's familiar voice! He just decided to call to say hi. It was the end of June or beginning of July, 2001. I was happy to hear from him, but I didn't let it go to my head
I am ready for marriage then!
or anything, I just said to myself that I should remember to try harder, to keep in better contact with him as a friend, that his call didn't mean anything more than that. (Ya, right!)
Actually, I felt kind of bad because I hadn't thought of him at all during the "silent" years. Maybe once, I may have pondered the question, I wonder what happened to Craig B...? Boyfriend?
A week or so after his call, my sister literally, talked me into hopping on the City's weekend only, wheelchair accessible Bus to a local Park. Terrified of going so far on my own, worried about being able to return alright, I fought her all the way. But as often would happen, my sister was able to convince me to meet her and her family out there. Nervous? Yes! But, I made the correct bus connections and before I knew it, I made it out there before them!
As I waited for them to show up, I suddenly was struck with the remembrance that Craig B lived out here! Using my mobile phone, I called him to let him know what was happening and asked if it was okay if we walked over to see him. I had never been to his house/camp before. When my family got there I told them about this fellow Craig and how we were going to his home. Off we went. I hadn't actually seen him in about four years and boy, did he look different than I last remembered. His hair was much greyer and he had just changed some how. I had to actually focus on reminding myself that this is the
He's a handsome bloke~
same Craig B that you once knew. We didn't stay long, but after we exited, my alway funny brother-in-law said quietly to me, "Nice to meet your boyfriend!" My response was a shocked, "N, way! He's not my boyfriend!" Oh, little did I know just how quickly I would discover my dear brother in law was right, as if he knew something we didn't.
Initially, I just thought it would be fun to talk about and share some wedding photos. But then, that lead to a multi part story about Our Wedding....
Craig and I met about ten years before we actually got married in 2001. Craig would show up every now and then at my church as a visitor, that's where I met him. We exchanged niceties but, nothing
Craig, long before I knew him!
more than that. Until about four years prior to our marriage in 2001. Based on some nice things he would say to me when I saw him ocassionaly in public and when he came for meetings at the
offices on the bottom floor of my apartment building, I thought maybe he might like me and I him. Stalker!?
After two or three dinner invitations, making him some sort of strange healthy pizza, I remember considering the idea of him and I being married. We never once discussed or even hinted at anything like that.
Not wanting to give up too easily, when I found out he had a gym membership, in spite of my muscle weakness, I joined the gym too! Yes there were accessible equipment pieces that he could use, but due to my limited muscle function, I could only use the arm ergometer on my own. Imagine signing up for a whole one year membership for one piece of equipment and oh, ya...right, and for the possibility of finding out if Craig "liked" me or not!
It was all worth it, I needed to know for sure. I was interested in him, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how he felt. So I would try to figure out when he would be at the gym, peek around corners, look past doors and then when found, in a nonchalant, "fancy meeting you here," kind of way, we'd greet each other and he'd shower me with an abundance of kind words. What girl wouldn't like that! I even signed up to volunteer at a local hospital, for the very same position that he had already had for about ten years. Yes, I kind of stalked him. A Mail Man Is A Person In Your Neighbourhood!
One of Craigs' strongest traits has always been his whole, opposite of shy manner. It is what made him a great mail man! No, I didn't know him when he was he delivering mail, but I remember Sesame Street really well, when they had the song segment, "Who are the people in your neighbourhood?.... A Postman is the person in your neighbourhood...In your neighbourhood, in your, neigh-bour-hood...yes, who...."
Watch That Song Here!
That's the song that comes to mind when I picture Craig as a Mail Man. Friendly, smiling bearded face, talking to every person he 'd meet. Yes, Craig even sang as he glided up and down people's yards placing mail into their hungry mailboxes. He told me today that he also use to play games with the children on his route, trying to make them laugh and giggle. He could hear their wee voices saying, "Hi Mailman!" And he would respond sometimes with, "Hey, I hear a little bird, a little bird is talking to me!" There were the times, when he would jump through water sprinklers with them, clothes and all! As well as asking the kids on occasion, to hose him down on those really hot days!
Then there were the times he made mooing cow sounds for some, and at times, he would pretend that some kids were invisible, just goofing around with them. One memorable moment, he remembers really well was a young lad who would wait for him every weekday morning, with a cookie in hand, just for the mailman! Perhaps that is why years later, he told me that cookies are messages of love! Naw, that was most likely because his mom was a great baker of cookies and pies!
It was his bold friendliness and sweet talk, that started to win my heart over. Mr. Right
As the weeks went by, we would talk occasionally on the phone, but, it started to become clear to me that he just said nice things to all the ladies! Starting to prepare my heart to give up the hope of Craig responding to my signals, I even began to wonder if he was too old for me. (Sorry Craig, you know all that.) I didn't know his age at the time. I was about 31 years old.
As well, practically and selfishly speaking, I actually did wonder if marrying a fellow who used wheels for legs like me, would work out well. Those thoughts are not something I ever thought I would have and I am ashamed that I had them. It even sounds strange saying that out "loud," for all too read, but it is the truth, it was what I wondered back then.
My whole life, I had wanted to be married. I envisioned that my husband wouldn't just love me as his wife, but also be the main provider of my personal care, and then I selfishly, wouldn't need my own Personal Care Attendants at all or as often. When someone comes into your home morning and night, decade after decade, it is tempting to consider real privacy and going to bed or getting up when ever you want to. Selfish, I know. But it is what was in my head at the time.
Craig and I talked about that consideration a long time ago and even though initially, I would be mortified if someone thought the way I did, we realized it isn't "abnormal" to wonder something like that. In no way does it mean you love the person less or are you judging them because of their disability. I would say in my case, it was more because of my disability.
In fact Craig told me that once we got married, a friend of our's who acquired his disability because of a motorcycle accident, told Craig that thanks to our marriage, he knew it was okay to marry his girlfriend. Before that, he said he didn't know if marrying his girlfriend could work because they both live with physical disabilities. Needless to say, unbeknownst to us, he was encouraged by our marriage and did the same thing! Little did we know...What a wonderful thing that is!
We Know How The Story Ends..
Boy did God have a plan beyond my wildest dreams. But for now, I will end part one here.....
