We heard a Pastor once, passionately declare to the congregation, how insensitive it is when someone
is suffering or struggling, to be told that "all things happen for a reason." It wasn't the first time I heard words from his mouth that made my heart sink, because it was obvious to me that I was the person he was describing.
After all, being honest about yourself and repenting of anything that God may be showing you through the lips of another is one way He teaches us right? I remember a distinct sinking feeling in my heart, because I was one of those people. No, not the suffering person, but the one who always uses that very same phrase "all things happen for a reason." Never did I think I was being insensitive. It is something I know to be true from experience. That includes even if you can't see why at the time. Nothing is ever in vain. God is Sovereign and even if some things make no sense, I know He is worth trusting completely.
Thankfully, God taught me a while ago, to not assume that Christian leaders are right all the time, to make sure that their words line up with His Word, so the sinking feeling left as fast as it came as I was reminded that it is true, all things do happen for a reason and nothing happens without purpose. Just read these words from God's infallible Word:
Luke 12:7 NASB -
"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows."
Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
[Rom 9:13-23 ESV] 13 As it is written, "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated." 14 What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God's part? By no means! 15 For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion." 16 So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. 17 For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, "For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." 18 So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills. 19 You will say to me then, "Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?" 20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me like this?" 21 Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? 22 What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, 23 in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory--
Psalm 139:1b-4 O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
Psa 139:13-17 For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Purpose
Pretty much, most of us who live and breathe, have been inspired by the life of another. Joni Eareckson Tada who dove into the Chesapeake Bay at the age of seventeen, breaking her neck, resulting in paralysis from the shoulders down. From the depths of despair, seeking death, she was stretched and challenged, pushed to emotional brink and physical limits that most of us will never know, to the point where she unswervingly could declare to a peer who was questioning the "whys?" questioning God, that she would rather be in this wheelchair knowing Him, than on her feet without Him. Thanks to God opening our eyes to see, we believe beyond all doubt that, because He knows all things, He permits in our lives to cause us to see that we need Him above all others and secondly, to then encourage and support others who may live in similar situations.
Fear No More
We didn't always see life or God in this way. At the ripe old age of seven or so, after years of tests
and speculation about why my legs were so wobbly, collapsing beneath me from the time I began to walk, I heard a "specialist," declare to my mom, when I was about seven years old, that I would be dead by the time I was twenty. That caused me to face the real meaning of life at an extra young age. Only God knows why, but the meaning of life and what happens when we die, pounded at my heart repeatedly. It gnawed at my spirit and often lead to deep times of depression because I was terrified. Many nights, I would lie in bed agonizing over why I had just lived today, that today can't be re-lived and tomorrow, will fly by just as quickly. To just let go of these thoughts and live life to the max, was not an option. If you have ever gone through the same thing, you know just how much those thoughts and queries consume everything you are.
Respite from this mindset occurred after much testing and seeking, the day I knew beyond all doubt, that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Saviour and anyone else's, just for the asking, by believing. Every fear of death and question about meaning melted away. For me it took years of searching, even passing on thee Answer early on. It took years of multiple bad life choices. But even in all that, there was purpose in all of that. That includes perverse horrible encounters with abusive individuals and being robbed of childhood innocence early on. Without all of it, I wouldn't be able to knowingly say, I understand, I have been there and I know the only One Who can help you. There is a reason for everything. Nothing is in vain.
on that note, it is not insensitive to say to someone who is suffering, "everything has a reason or purpose." Not, if you mean it. To those "Christian" leaders who think it is insensitive, clearly must not trust in God's Sovereignty. Again, see what god's Word says.
