Road To Healing: No Kisses. The Day We Make Contact. Hanging At The Hospital Cafeteria

At this point it's been a couple of months almost since Craig has been in a hospital bed because of a pressure wound on his backside. Due to our physical disabilities, we can't even kiss or make any physical contact. I can hold his one hand, that's it. 

This day, he was able to sit in his wheelchair for up to two hours. So we made the most of it.

So for the first time, we actually get to make physical contact including hanging out at the hospital cafeteria. This day was extra special. He was only allowed one to two hours a day in his chair until recently as you'll see by the newest vlog coming soon

(This video was made for some special folks in our life- I want to share it because it's the only one we took)

WATCH BELOW

Vlog The Morning After Sleeping In My Wheelchair- Embarrassing Topics

Don't you just love this monarch butterfly on my thumbnail? This deserves it's own little blurb. A couple weeks ago I noticed them on her butterfly enjoying our zinnias. Then there was the time I almost got hit in the head by the hummingbird poking around our zinnias. Love it. This day I was observing the butterfly from our window, believing there was no way I would be able to take a picture of it. I decided to ask God to keep the butterfly there long enough so I can get outside with my camera and get a shot. Well the most amazing thing happened. I cannot lift my arms at all from where I sit in my wheelchair or at any time for that matter. So I took my little Canon PowerShot camera pointed up to where the majestic butterfly was sitting on the tallest zinnia flower. Not an easy shot because like I said, I cannot lift my arms and to mention I also can't see through the screen to even see what I'm shooting at. So I trust in God, guessed that I had it in frame and click. And the butterfly went and that was that. When I checked the viewfinder, I was thrilled to see it was the perfect shot. Nothing was blurry and even the composition seemed perfect. I am quite sure that God help me with that because, that butterfly on top of the Zinnia was far too high for where my camera could point to to get a decent side view of the butterfly. So all glory goes to God and I'm thinking him for a once in a lifetime shot that I get to enjoy and hopefully paint eventually.

Watch Below!

Last night we camped indoors, which for those of you who don't know me and Anita, that's me slept in my wheelchair. The problem with that is I don't usually get a lot of sleep. By the time I settle down, and close my eyes it's usually about three hours. I've realized that I think it's because I'm so used to having to go to bed when someone here has been pre-scheduled to come and help me into and out of bed, then having the freedom to move around at any time whenever I like. It's just too wonderful for me. So these are the only nights I get to live unfettered, and yes that's where the hyperactive part of my ADHD diagnosis seems to come in to play. I had to laugh when I thought, maybe that's why God allowed me to be in a wheelchair, because he knew I'd be all over the place if I was on my feet. I hope I remember to ask him that one day, these days I've been choosing basically, to sleep in my wheelchair about once a week. But the driving force behind it is having limited personal care attendants, and wanting to make sure that works out the best way possible. Plus I really like the idea that I get to choose as well.

Seating clinic for new wheelchairs

I believe that was mentioned in this video a little bit. If not they're somewhere else. But I am thrilled that I am entitled to a new wheelchair a year sooner than I originally thought. Our government provides 75% funding basically, every five years for things like power wheelchairs and manual wheelchairs. The funny thing is they don't cover very expensive wheelchair batteries. But we deal with it. Craig has a decent healthcare plan from his days as a letter carrier. What will be great about this is it has a power tilt along with a power recline and power foot rest that raise up and down. I will be sharing all I can and the blogs and that in case anyone else is interested and want it all is. Because I didn't know about it until after it was too late when I got my last year. Or I would have applied for that kind. It means that I would be able to sleep far more comfortably in my wheelchair. Even though I already sleep pretty decently. It will just be good because my hips and legs will be able to stretch out and the circulation can flow better. I have chronic lymphoedema which means my legs and feet and ankles have been swelled for a lot of years. Including the left side of my face and left arm. .. That's why I wear my wedding ring on my right hand.

I know I shared the last process about five years ago with you everyone here at walking railroaded. This time it won't just be my process by Craig's at the same time because he's going through a different vendor but is still seeking a new power assist wheelchair. Pretty exciting now we just gotta find the client portion of the funding which can get pretty expensive, but it's worth it. He actually has his power assist wheels that he bought without any government funding only about two years ago so he will just be getting a regular manual wheelchair and then they add rackets so he can use his emotion M25 wheels. That he loves so much. Makes life a lot easier when your shoulders are battling things like rotator cuff damage and osteoarthritis.

Twenty Years Of Marriage. Romance. Testing Out Waterless Shampoo

 

About forty years ago, I began discovering the challenges of hygiene and physical accessibility. Times

like when I was recovering from a broken leg or spine surgeries, staying at my parents home (unable to freely access a bath tub or shower), or even if I went away where access to easy bathing methods were a challenge. I even tried getting hair permanents (curling hair with rollers and a chemical solution wreaking of ammonia) that dries out your hair, even burning some off. Resulting in hopeful curls or waves, trying to delay that oily greasy hair thing. 

If you've ever been recovering from surgery, illness or live with a physical challenge like I have since childhood, then you know what I am talking about. In fact when you are in the hospital, you may also have experienced sponge or bed baths. What's that you ask? It means a nurse sets a bowl of warm water
by your bedside with a washcloth (not usually a  sponge), bar of soap and towel in hand. I remember it happening daily. Depending how long I was to be laid up for, my hair was never washed in bed, so no matter how clean I may have felt after, the greasy hair feeling increased daily. Back then I never heard of dry or waterless shampoos (which is what this video is about). You know how icky your head and body can feel when you can bath. Hard to believe that in the middle ages bathing was apparently annually if it all! 

Watch Video Here

People don't talk about this much so I want to share ideas, reviews and offer what I can to help anyone with mobility issues that want to know ways of feeling clean even when you can't access the shower. Today I want to share a video Craig and I made last year, that I totally forgot about, testing out something called waterless shampoo. Watch to see if it was successful or not.

OUR WEDDING STORY- A Cat Or A Man?- Part #3

Love my wee sister! God only knows, if it wasn't for her, I might not have reconnected with Craig :o)

Now, On with the Show... this is it......
....(Click HERE to read Part  ONE and Click HERE for Part TWO )
Well, I wouldn't admit it at the time, but, I was thankful that my sister persuaded me to hop on that bus, fears and all. I made it back without missing any accessible connections.
However, nothing changed that day about and feelings for Craig. For sure, he may have looked a lot different than I last remembered him. In fact, I had to keep saying to myself for the next while, he's the same Craig from before. The same guy you me, at that time, about ten years earlier. As for potential romance, nope. Aside from my brother-in-law's chiding, nothing, Nada. I didn't let any thoughts beyond friendship/acquaintance fill my mind. Well, that was until...
I Need A Cat, NOT A Man!?

My family's cat, Leon - sadly he isn't on the earth anymore.

About a week or so later, my sister asked me to meet her at Walmart. Off I went. I use to "walk" every where I wanted to go, when possible, using my power chair. It is hilarious to me, that over the course of my life, when I mention anything about going for a "walk," there actually are a rare few, who declare, "You can't walk!" Sarcasm at that moment, is soooooo tempting...."Really?! I can't walk!? No way?!..." See, tempting :o)
Anyhow, when I arrived there, my attention was captured immediately, by a young lady giving away kittens.  Impulsively (story of my life), I suddenly considered a companion for my kooky cat Maggie, she was a spontaneous, random biter! Not fun. Her cute pink nose, was deceptive. All cute and cuddly, reach out in trust to pet her, and suddenly your hand meets her opening jaw, that suddenly snaps shut with pointy teeth and all. She even would attack visitor's feet, when the mood struck! So ya, maybe a new friend would help her stop trying to eat the humans.

As we wandered on through to the wallpaper and paint section, suddenly I heard a familiar voice!

Wish I could say Leon was my cat, but nope, 
he was my dear nephew's and his parent's! He wanted my cone.

Guess who?
(Reminder: Craig is certain the Walmart encounter happened before our visit to his home in Part 2) 
Yup!  There's Craig again! I'm not a gambler, but what are the odds that we would connect three times in less than a few weeks?! - and yet,  zero contact in four years!?
He was shopping for wallpaper, redecorating his bathroom with a friend. My thoughts were divided, pay attention to him, or go find a new kitty for Maggie???
So I introduced or re-introduced - depends which came first -  him to my sister. (Maybe he's right, maybe that was the first introduction - argh! Must find my journal!) 

A Man, Not A Cat?

Definitely, I was feeling uncomforatble as he spoke, makes sense, after all, we were in public! Shaking my head, trying to dismiss his his flattery, I told him that I needed to go find the girl giving away kittens.

One of my own favourite cats named "Bob," - because he had no tail. This is about 25 years ago.

Because my sister is good at interior decorating, I told him that she could give him a hand selecting wall paper. As I tried to leave, to go get that new kitten, he responded with bold statements, words that I had never heard him say before... 

"You don't need a cat in your life, you need a man!" 

He definitely, caught my attention. Huh? Does he mean himself? Not wanting to take him too seriously, again I tried to be indifferent, and attempted to dismiss what he was saying. But then something even more puzzling, flew out of his lips...

"You could of had me, but you kicked me out!" 

Stupefied, I asked what he was talking about! Since, not once had we ever even dated or anything like that. Not once, had he even shown anything more than just "one of the guys, plus a few compliments, type stuff toward me. Remember, I contemplated more, but gave up on him.

Embarrassment aside, I wondered what on earth he meant. Here we were, four years later and here was Craig, making public declarations like a town crier!...   "You could of had me, but you kicked me out!" 

We were never in any kind of relationship, worthy of being kicked out of! He never reciprocated any of my subtle or not so subtle  attempts at letting him know, I was "interested." Remember the stalking? -( click here if you want to know)  So why on earth would he be talking like that? 

Four years,  NOTHING! Assuming, he had no clue that I ever "liked" him that way, I just tried to flee! So off I flew, to get that darn kitten.

Needless to say, his words whetted my curiosity, tempting me to wonder if there was some potential there that I never knew about. None of it made sense, in light of his usual behaviour toward me. And now this...what if...maybe?....just maybe.....?

I would be lying if I said his declarations didn't affect me at all. What kept coming to my mind was, he never talked like that to me before! Why now? What does he mean? I didn't think he really knew I even really existed beyond, the casual "bump into you moments. So confusing....so tempting....

Where's the Man?

Hmmmm...marry Anita???? Or not to Marry Anita?

Well, when I got home with the new fluffy little kitty, Maggie, my temperamental cat hissed and literally got her back up ,at the sight of a competitor for her affections. Concerned, yet, overly obsessed with mind, reeling with the possibilities of what Craig declared in Walmart. In front of witnesses, including my only sister! Don't worry, I didn't let my distracted thoughts ignore the endangered new kitten. 

It seemed clear that I needed to make a move, just incase he meant something more.

I admit, I wasn't disappointed at Maggie's crazy attitude, I now had an excuse to phone Craig and call

Oh, at the gym where I used to stalk him!! So handsome.

him on his words. Words that kept playing, over and over again in my spinning brain. Anxiously, I called my Mom and Dad, I told them about the new pet and that Maggie might devour him, if I kept him one moment longer.

Now this was certainly all meant to be, because many times, I had cats that seriously misbehaved, and my parents would never consider adopting them from me. Wonder why? After all, what's wrong when your cat, leaps and swings off of your macrame plant holders, like Tarzan the cat man?!!  No, that wasn't Maggie....you don't want to know that one's name. It isn't politically correct. 

The fact that my parents taking any of my kooky cats off my hands, was something that normally, would never happen, was a HUGE sign. For some reason, this time, of all times, they agreed to adopt their new little buddy. He became, Charlie number 3, living a great life in the country with my great parents.

Not waiting in moment, as soon as I hung up with 

my folks, I dialled Craig's number.

I can't remember what he said, I was nervous and unsure of what the results of my brazen boldness would be. It was a risk, but then what he said was equally out there too. What did I have to lose?
"Hello." Craig answered (I assume).
"Hi Craig, I got rid of the cat, now where's the man?"
The long and the short of it is within a few months, obviously, we got married!
But I do want to share the stories leading up to that day, especially our seven day courtship....well, you will have to wait for part four, if you want to know the rest :o) In fact, you might want to know that there was a condition about crazy Maggie. You'll have to come back to find out what it was :o)

Thank You God For my Mom and Dad and that they adopted the kitty that day!

Side Note...
By the way, normally ladies, I wouldn't recommend being that overt with any man.  Maybe it can be likened in a small way to the book of Ruth in the Bible? Okay, maybe not. In quick summary, Ruth was to show her "interest" for lack of a better word, to this man Boaz, her kinsmen redeemer. She laid herself down at his feet as a communication of her intentions, as directed by her former mother in law, Naomi. (Ruth was widowed) Boaz responded and they were married and their offspring, were the the ancestors of Jesus Christ. Regardless, a great historical event worth reading about.

[Ruth 3:4-10, 14 KJV] 4 And it shall be, when he lieth down, that thou shalt mark the place where he shall lie, and thou shalt go in, and uncover his feet, and lay thee down; and he will tell thee what thou shalt do. 5 And she said unto her, All that thou sayest unto me I will do. 6 And she went down unto the floor, and did according to all that her mother in law bade her. 7 And when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of corn: and she came softly, and uncovered his feet, and laid her down. 8 And it came to pass at midnight, that the man was afraid, and turned himself: and, behold, a woman lay at his feet. 9 And he said, Who [art] thou? And she answered, I [am] Ruth thine handmaid: spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid; for thou [art] a near kinsman. 10 And he said, Blessed [be] thou of the LORD, my daughter: [for] thou hast shewed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followedst not young men, whether poor or rich. ... 14 And she lay at his feet until the morning: and she rose up before one could know another. And he said, Let it not be known that a woman came into the floor.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Hope it made you smile just a little.

To Be Continued..

My dear Dad, getting me to the church on time....

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OUR WEDDING STORY...Almost There: - Part #2

Yup, that's me, Anita! Not quite ready for marriage then.

(For part one of the Beginning of our Wedding Story, just click HERE)
Ever since I was about two or three, I wanted to find that special someone and get married. Just ask my Mom, she said I bluntly asked a boy when I was about 2 or 3...
"Are you gonna marry me or not?!"

Silence Broken

Back to our story...Yup, we didn't talk for about four years, maybe a bit more. Then one day, out of the blue,  the phone rang, it was Craig's familiar voice! He just decided to call to say hi. It was the end of June or beginning of July, 2001.  I was happy to hear from him, but I didn't let it go to my head

I am ready for marriage then!

or anything, I just said to myself that I should remember to try harder, to keep in better contact with him as a friend, that his call didn't mean anything more than that. (Ya, right!)
Actually, I felt kind of bad because I hadn't thought of him at all during the "silent" years. Maybe once, I may have pondered the question,  I wonder what happened to Craig B...?
Boyfriend?
A week or so after his call, my sister literally, talked me into hopping on the City's weekend only,  wheelchair accessible Bus to a local Park. Terrified of going so far on my own, worried about being able to return alright, I fought her all the way. But as often would happen, my sister was able to convince me to meet her and her family out there. Nervous? Yes! But, I made the correct bus connections and before I knew it, I made it out there before them!
As I waited for them to show up, I suddenly was struck with the remembrance that Craig B lived out here! Using my mobile phone, I called him to let him know what was happening and asked if it was okay if we walked over to see him. I had never been to his house/camp before. When my family got there I told them about this fellow Craig and how we were going to his home. Off we went. I hadn't actually seen him in about four years and boy, did he look different than I last remembered. His hair was much greyer and he had just changed some how. I had to actually focus on reminding myself that this is the

He's a handsome bloke~

same Craig B that you once knew. We didn't stay long, but after we exited, my alway funny brother-in-law said quietly to me, "Nice to meet your boyfriend!" My response was a shocked, "N, way! He's not my boyfriend!" Oh, little did I know just how quickly I would discover my dear brother in law was right, as if he knew something we didn't.

To Be Continued...

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