Wednesday, April 6, 2016

THOUGHTS ON CARE GIVING...

One of my first and best Personal Care Assistants I ever hired almost
20 years ago! Randi! Love her so much .
How appropriate, I get to write about being able to hire my own personal care assistants and share the process for hiring in hope to help others hiring for themselves or those hiring for others and also to help me hire someone :o)
I pray I get to hire  a PCA or two, who have all the qualities of so many of the wonderful PCAs I have now, as well as others through the years including, the awesome lady to the left. :o) Love  and miss her so much.  One of my first PCAs that I hired almost 20 years ago.
BLESSED
My life has been blessed by many wonderful ladies of all ages, who have essentially been my "arms and legs." I let them know how I would like my care and household tasks carried out and they learn, and carry them out to the best of their ability.
Including the early years (click here for yesterday's article about hiring my PCAs and History), when I was eleven, I received care from employees, (nurses and child care workers, ) first at the institution and then starting at 17, my first apartment buildings (the SSLUs). Even though those first years left me with no say in who will care for me, there were many care givers and PCAs that I valued and
That's me at 11 in the Dining/living area of that
 residence I mentioned.
considered my friend, even as family.
It was always so sad, when you would bond with those super nice care providers, but then they had to move on to other life events. Even years later, I refer to some of them as my "mom's and dad's). They will never know how much they impacted my heart. Yes, I have a great Mom and Dad, but these are the folks they entrusted my care into because they were doing what they believed was best for me. They didn't get to handpick any of them either. Trust was the order of the day.  I know all things happen for a purpose. It was best for me to move away. I did go home every other weekend and holidays back then, but these people were my other family. Yes there were some not so nice employees, but I focused on the ones I loved. Living with so many children, they too were like siblings almost. Not easy when so many, come and go in a young life. I am guessing these days, with life the way it is, a lot of kids have grown up with many a care giver passing through.
What I am trying to say is,  please know that if you have a loved one in a healthcare institution or in an SSLU like I was in, there are many wonderful care providers.
Two great fellow residents, from the late 70s, who sadly
have passed on. Loved Tracy and Billy!
DON'T BE AFRAID!
It is so important to make sure when there are ones like I mentioned yesterday, the opposite of above, to not be afraid and take the proper steps to improve their behaviour toward those they are intimidating. Our hearts break when we hear stories from places where I once resided (SSLUs), door to door care providing companies, senior care facilities and hospitals, where nurses and other care givers or family members we know,  and have even witnessed ourselves, being treated badly, receiving neglectful care.
We encourage anyone who experiences or witnesses such behaviour to speak out. Seek upper management, or depending on the abuse or lack of proper care, call authorities, the media....don't be afraid.
There was a time, when I was afraid and wouldn't speak up because it was too scary thinking about having that same person return, to assist me, upset, because I reported them. It took a huge move, as an advocate, to do a 360 and speak out. I discovered that many bully types, often back down and even break down emotionally with tears when confronted. Often, it is the bully and the controlling types who seek work in places where silent dependant folks reside. Again, we have seen it happen to others and our selves.
All I can say is - DO NOT BE AFRAID! Speak out to someone safe or have someone you trust advocate for you. And if you witness neglect and abuse from a care provider, as a fellow employee or family, friend, even as a roommate, report it. Often there are folks who are vulnerable, and timid, even unable to speak or be aware of what is being done or not done to them. And doing all you can to help bring it into the light, matters. We must look out for fellow citizens. Not to mention, anyone who can act that way with vulnerable others, seriously need help. Perhaps they were abused as a child and never told anyone. Many transfer anger to those who are weaker than them. Regardless of the whys, for sure they need to stopped, even pulled from their position until and if they can change.
I know this is a serious topic, but it has to be shared with the intent to help anyone who has ever felt this way but didn't know what to do.
As often happens when I write articles, I started out writing about how to hire PCAs and all that, but ended up talking about the other side of the subject, addressing neglectful and abuse by care givers.



My number one care giver is my dear husband,
always helping me out where he can.
Next article will definitely be about what to seek when hiring care givers, be it for your self or a loved one or friend.










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